Sunday, August 24, 2014

About me, Queennie.

Alright. This is my 4th time re-writing this.

3 more months to go, and i'm officially 22. I still remember my 21st birthday party was like not long ago and very soon, 22 is coming. 

I've been thinking so much lately, about my future, my passion, my relationships, family, career and so on. I know i am soon stepping into the next stage of my life. I've been studying for the half of my life so far, and soon, I am going to work. 

I still remember how much i love to perform on stage, or in front of anyone else. No matter it is about singing, dancing, story telling or whatever, i just want to be on stage. Every year i will bug daddy mummy to bring me for ASTRO kids talent audition, cus i want to be on tv so so much. Of course i got rejected by them cus dad knows i will be really disappointed if i failed my audition. I cried a lot cus of that. Anyway, it's just a stupid kid's dream like everyone has before. lol. 

So i've been dancing ballet since 8 and learning piano since 10. I've always been a person who love to challenge myself, to see how far i can go, to know how much i can do, and to know how well i can do. To clarify here, dad and mom have never forced me in doing anything. I am the one who told them that i want to do piano and ballet. The only condition from them was not to give up if i've really planned to do. However, the only reason i do ballet is just because of that long hair, only ballerinas are allowed to have long hairs during my primary school time. I did not complete my piano cus i know i can only focus on piano or ballet. And so, i chose ballet. Finally completed all levels after 12 years. FINALLY.

To be precise, i shouldn't say i love ballet, in fact, i love dancing. Hip hop, waacking, girlstyle, popping.. i just couldn't stop dancing. Probably i love the feeling of sweating, that makes me feel so good after burning so much calories. lol.

Not to forget those wonderful memories during my secondary school time with basketball. I could go so crazy for basketball. Basketball for life. Basketball everyday. Basketball basketball basketball. Those are my best memories. I found my interest, and also manage to make a bunch of good friends. Basketball taught me about teamwork, and friendship.

Well there are so much more stuffs that i would love to share about. People used to described me as a "sociable" person. I do agree, sometimes, however it should be "talkative" instead. I talked a lot to myself, laughed myself, i make people happy and myself happy. I love to see people laughing, joking, happy around. The most annoying thing ever is seeing people expressing their feelings on others, which i think is the most childish action. Please remember that people don't owe you. And you are not SPECIAL either.

Anyway, i have a lot of good friends in my life. Some people said i have problems in defining "good" friends. All friends are good friends. Of course they are good friends, i mean, they didn't try to harm me before, right? lol. No matter they are good or bad, i always believe that human does something for a reason, intentionally or unintentionally. Anyway, i have different good friends in my primary school time,secondary school time,ballet classes, basketball club, youth club, student exchange and university. I'm so grateful that God brought so many angels to my life. They are always there for me during my ups and downs. 

Other than friends, i also have an aunt that is more like a sister and a listener to me. She taught me so much about life, humans and personalities. I used to complain and share about my feelings, my stories and so many stuffs with her. I always wanna be like her. She is so much like an angel to me. 

After stopped doing ballet for few years, i decided to challenge myself further. That's why i started to do Muay Thai. Mom was kind of reluctant to support me at first cus that was the reason why she sent me for ballet and piano, but now ended up like so boyish. Come on, Muay Thai was so fun ! Girls should try kickboxing or muay thai seriously. Haha. Oh ya, of course i manage to make good friends there too. Hehe

So.... When it comes to the same question again... " What do you plan to do after your internship? working? further study?" Oh gawd. Stop asking me the same question, please. Probably working, but i don't feel like answering, cus the next question gonna be " What do you plan to do? Nutritionist? Ballet instructor?"

To be honest, I DON'T KNOW. I'm sure that the rest/sohme of my coursemates are thinking the same thing too. I want MONEY, but i don't feeling working. I want to study, but i hate exams. So do I! Probably the only thing i can do now is not figuring what i want to do, but, narrow down what I DONT WANT TO DO. This will work much more easier i guess.

I've been raised in a protective and strict family. My parents don't usually allowed me to work during weekends or any holidays. I don't have chance to take bus by myself, or even to go travelling without them.I have maid since i'm small, so i don't get to do any house chores.  However, this doesn't mean that i am useless or i am dependent. Also, this doesn't reflect how am i supposed to be. Probably because of this, i know how grateful i should be. And also, i learned so much things about life and people. Some of the people actually judged me for being so pampered by my family, and i will just going to be a baby girl. 

I'm so sorry to say that when you made such statement about me, it only shows how foolish you are.

I obey my parents, not because i'm afraid of them, but because i know they just want the best for me.
I appreciate everything that they did for me. Not everyone that raised in this way will actually ended up like a kiddo. At least, i am willing to learn. As long as i am willing to learn, it is never too late for me to learn how to take a bus, how to cook a dish, how to wash my clothes or etc etc etc. 


So........... This is me. This is my life. I do what i want as long as everyone is happy with it.

Life is short. Do what you want. Do all you can. Live your own life, and not others.