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Sunday, October 7, 2018

Perception of Happiness.

Perception of Happiness.

I was having this conversation with few friends lately and I noticed different people with similar background can have different perception to it.
A wealthy person could perceive more wealth as happiness and a poor person could perceive the same too. Then I also noticed an average living person could perceive opposite as happiness, which is simplicity.

People with same background can have similar perception or totally opposite perception to it.

Wealth, Love, Health? Actually it doesn’t even matter if you embrace it and live with it.

It can be something simple or something we been neglecting. Some people perceive happiness with 3000 likes on social media, some people perceive happiness with cheap beer with good music, some people see good health as happiness.

I think happiness cannot be measured and it’s a feeling comes from heart. Everyone perceive it differently. It is something that you need to be honest with yourself about what you want in life. Only you yourself know what makes you truly happy. The world we living is getting toxic that we tend to forget simple happiness in life. It could be just riding bicycle with loved ones, shower with hot water,  drinking favourite wine, listening to favourite music or having dinner with loved ones. We need to start learning appreciate moments like this.

I guess this also relates to not taking things for granted.

Even breathing now is something we should relate to happiness. Some people barely able to breathe by themselves, they need specific medications or device to assist them in breathing.

I also know people that live in people’s judgement, trying to impress ones or prove themselves, relying happiness from them.

Happiness is something that comes from your own heart, your true self. I was once mistakenly thought that being skinny is my ideal of happiness. Able to eat and drink without getting fat. Having long legs wearing white skinny jeans is my ideal kind of happiness.Screw being healthy or what, i just want to be skinny. Skinny equals to happiness.
However once I got to my ideal weight, I was not happy. Why? Because they are people that think i need to lose more weight. Then some people started to judge my legs not being skinny enough. I dropped till my ideal weight but then I realised they are part of me that still doesnt satisfy myself.
Wow. It is one endless journey. Feeding fake happiness to myself. It is all about my Self Esteem. I was not happy about my body because of judgement, because I dont love my body.
Today I can be happy cause someone praised me, tomorrow I get upset because I don't hear want I want to hear.

It is sick isn't it?

What is happiness to me? To be my true self is happiness. I don't want to live in people's judgement forever. fuck that shit. Life is so short to live form them. I wanna live for myself. I wanna live happily.

Therefore the perception to this is extremely important. What makes you happy? and Why?
Think. It does need to be processed.

If you're given 2000 dollars, what would you do with it?

They are girls that I know would spent all 2000 dollars in the club, open tubs of champagne, party all night, that makes them happy.

I know people that would save half of them in bank, and spent half of it travelling.

Some would even donate that 2000 dollars to people in need.

You see, the perception to it is different. It is not wrong to spend all in the club, one would do that because that makes them happy. If I spent 2000 dollars in the club, I would go home hating myself for spending that amount of money, cause that is not my perception of happiness.

I understand that this society is toxic. People are living under pressure. Peer pressure, work pressure, family pressure..etc. That makes people think differently, see things differently. So we can't tell one that ' hey that is not happiness', " happiness should be simple not about someone else:. NO. That is not up to us to tell one based on your own experience. Everyone experience things differently. As long as one is not harming another. I think it's fine.

Embracing yourself is the only way to find happiness.

To me, love is happiness. Self love, family love, friendship love. Anything related to love.
Material is the last thing I need on earth. I have experienced the most wonderful love from my family & I know how powerful is that.

Would you rather date a guy with ferrari but has no time for you, OR date a guy that has no car but he is always there for you?

You know what you want. If material is your love language, then embrace it. You will the find one that speak the same love language like you, live happily ever after. But if you live in denial, trying to fake it like material is not your thing. Trust me. Those feelings inside will accumulate like a snowball.. and boom one day you will hate yourself for not being honest to yourself. Problems will come.

Just embrace it. But be real to yourself.
Is this really what you want?
Does that make yourself happy?

You know the answer.

=)





Thursday, July 27, 2017

Nobody said it would be this hard.

真没想过残酷的感觉这么真实

也这么熟悉...

我不记得这是第几次了,也许痛的不是因为感觉

也只是历史重复太多次而已....

我想我坚持不变,试着改变

都试过了。

对不起,我不想再这样下去了。

I'm going back to the start.

Coldplay Scientist 完全叙述现在的感受

加油吧,没事的

上几次也这样熬过了,这次算什么

Trust no one except yourself.

:")

Thursday, May 25, 2017

I hate my body

心没有那么难受过。

今早洗澡出来照镜子,发现自己肥了,讨厌自己为什么那么贪吃那么容易变胖

为什么那么努力运动缺不能像其他女生那样狂吃不运动都这么瘦,随便穿都那么好看

超级无奈。

I always believe god made everything happen for a reason.

Was at the hospital running errands like usual. 
病人穿着病服走来走去,孩子穿着病服在医院里跑着也很开心 

每次在等电梯那短短两分钟,都可以感觉到温情。也许你现在不会明白我在说什么, 可是我深深感受到

有些人不能走路只能靠电梯因为行动不便,孩子推着轮椅一直念爸爸不争气;爸爸觉得很烦可是他不懂站在后面推着轮椅的孩子眼眶泛泪

一位老伯伯,看得出年长,行动很慢但是硬着头皮一个人看完医生走回病房

妈妈怀着孕,孩子穿着病服,老公忙着推椅车,我想不用我说你们都知道那种心酸吧

电梯门开了,大家互相礼让慢慢地走进去

只有我..可以深深感受到电梯里只有我最幸福的..

突然有人从门外大喊,“等一下!”

我手一快顶着门,门一开

看见一位阿姨拖着氧气桶,后面跟着另一位阿姨推着女孩的轮椅,女孩没有头发,绑着头巾。

阿姨忙着说谢谢,女孩哽咽说谢谢然后在电梯里大哭起来....

阿姨带着微笑安慰她说,“不要哭啦,医生说了还要一个疗程,过后吃药就没事啦”

“ 为什么是我...真的很辛苦..我不想要治疗了",哭着说

“ 不可以这样说话的,忍多一下就过去了”

“ 你不懂我有多怕多辛苦..!"

画面真的很酸很酸。姐的眼泪都快流出来了.

这时老伯伯就说 “ 小妹妹,不要灰心,药一定要吃,医生讲话一定要听,uncle 80岁了还在打药都没有放弃,你这样你家人会很心痛你知道吗?不要灰心!”

女孩大声地哭起来,但默默地点头

老伯伯继续说,“我也很痛很辛苦,我没有家人,但是我没有灰心,要看开默默接受,这样比较开心。你比我更幸福,有家人帮你推轮椅,如果我今天不能走路,你说我要怎么办?”

女孩开始冷静下来, 阿姨拍拍她头安慰地说“ 没事的,有我在,乖.."

我想阿姨心里有多痛多难受多苦不堪言......

女孩得的是癌症,人家所谓的贵富病

医药费非常昂贵,不懂负担得起医药费吗;就算负担得起,会好起来吗?还是个未知数..........

唉。

我每天都在嫌腿肥,有脚能走能跳就好了

每天嫌胸部不够大,没有肿瘤就好了

嫌手臂不够瘦,有手没伤疤就好了

容易变胖,可以随吃自己爱的就好了

懒惰出门懒惰运动,可以走路已经很幸福了


哎哟呀人生其实真的很短

为什么要那么在意小小事情搞到自己这么不开心

想想有多少人多想要你现在的生活

不病是不会体会到那种心酸


只能说,有得必有失

珍惜现在所拥有的一切

开心最重要,用自己的快乐正能量影响身边的人

也许你不知道这感染力有多大,但女孩刚和阿姨道歉自己胡说八道,答应会乖乖治疗

老伯伯也有苦说不出口,大家都有苦说不出口..但是这重要吗?


你自己去想想吧

我说你,黄燕妮。