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Sunday, October 7, 2018

Perception of Happiness.

Perception of Happiness.

I was having this conversation with few friends lately and I noticed different people with similar background can have different perception to it.
A wealthy person could perceive more wealth as happiness and a poor person could perceive the same too. Then I also noticed an average living person could perceive opposite as happiness, which is simplicity.

People with same background can have similar perception or totally opposite perception to it.

Wealth, Love, Health? Actually it doesn’t even matter if you embrace it and live with it.

It can be something simple or something we been neglecting. Some people perceive happiness with 3000 likes on social media, some people perceive happiness with cheap beer with good music, some people see good health as happiness.

I think happiness cannot be measured and it’s a feeling comes from heart. Everyone perceive it differently. It is something that you need to be honest with yourself about what you want in life. Only you yourself know what makes you truly happy. The world we living is getting toxic that we tend to forget simple happiness in life. It could be just riding bicycle with loved ones, shower with hot water,  drinking favourite wine, listening to favourite music or having dinner with loved ones. We need to start learning appreciate moments like this.

I guess this also relates to not taking things for granted.

Even breathing now is something we should relate to happiness. Some people barely able to breathe by themselves, they need specific medications or device to assist them in breathing.

I also know people that live in people’s judgement, trying to impress ones or prove themselves, relying happiness from them.

Happiness is something that comes from your own heart, your true self. I was once mistakenly thought that being skinny is my ideal of happiness. Able to eat and drink without getting fat. Having long legs wearing white skinny jeans is my ideal kind of happiness.Screw being healthy or what, i just want to be skinny. Skinny equals to happiness.
However once I got to my ideal weight, I was not happy. Why? Because they are people that think i need to lose more weight. Then some people started to judge my legs not being skinny enough. I dropped till my ideal weight but then I realised they are part of me that still doesnt satisfy myself.
Wow. It is one endless journey. Feeding fake happiness to myself. It is all about my Self Esteem. I was not happy about my body because of judgement, because I dont love my body.
Today I can be happy cause someone praised me, tomorrow I get upset because I don't hear want I want to hear.

It is sick isn't it?

What is happiness to me? To be my true self is happiness. I don't want to live in people's judgement forever. fuck that shit. Life is so short to live form them. I wanna live for myself. I wanna live happily.

Therefore the perception to this is extremely important. What makes you happy? and Why?
Think. It does need to be processed.

If you're given 2000 dollars, what would you do with it?

They are girls that I know would spent all 2000 dollars in the club, open tubs of champagne, party all night, that makes them happy.

I know people that would save half of them in bank, and spent half of it travelling.

Some would even donate that 2000 dollars to people in need.

You see, the perception to it is different. It is not wrong to spend all in the club, one would do that because that makes them happy. If I spent 2000 dollars in the club, I would go home hating myself for spending that amount of money, cause that is not my perception of happiness.

I understand that this society is toxic. People are living under pressure. Peer pressure, work pressure, family pressure..etc. That makes people think differently, see things differently. So we can't tell one that ' hey that is not happiness', " happiness should be simple not about someone else:. NO. That is not up to us to tell one based on your own experience. Everyone experience things differently. As long as one is not harming another. I think it's fine.

Embracing yourself is the only way to find happiness.

To me, love is happiness. Self love, family love, friendship love. Anything related to love.
Material is the last thing I need on earth. I have experienced the most wonderful love from my family & I know how powerful is that.

Would you rather date a guy with ferrari but has no time for you, OR date a guy that has no car but he is always there for you?

You know what you want. If material is your love language, then embrace it. You will the find one that speak the same love language like you, live happily ever after. But if you live in denial, trying to fake it like material is not your thing. Trust me. Those feelings inside will accumulate like a snowball.. and boom one day you will hate yourself for not being honest to yourself. Problems will come.

Just embrace it. But be real to yourself.
Is this really what you want?
Does that make yourself happy?

You know the answer.


Thursday, July 27, 2017

Nobody said it would be this hard.








I'm going back to the start.

Coldplay Scientist 完全叙述现在的感受



Trust no one except yourself.


Thursday, May 25, 2017

I hate my body





I always believe god made everything happen for a reason.

Was at the hospital running errands like usual. 

每次在等电梯那短短两分钟,都可以感觉到温情。也许你现在不会明白我在说什么, 可是我深深感受到











“ 为什么是我...真的很辛苦..我不想要治疗了",哭着说

“ 不可以这样说话的,忍多一下就过去了”

“ 你不懂我有多怕多辛苦..!"


这时老伯伯就说 “ 小妹妹,不要灰心,药一定要吃,医生讲话一定要听,uncle 80岁了还在打药都没有放弃,你这样你家人会很心痛你知道吗?不要灰心!”



女孩开始冷静下来, 阿姨拍拍她头安慰地说“ 没事的,有我在,乖.."